Where Damon Stoudamire gets his pot.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Thunder Dan

Reggie miller couldn't analyze his way out of a wet paper bag. Charles Barkley is sorely missed from this telecast. An example:

-Referring to Kevin Durant as Kevin Garnett, as in "Kevin Garnett was fantastic in the Rookie/Sophomore game last name." When Kevin Harlin is calling you out on basic NBA facts, this is not good for your broadcasting career.

Miller's oratory is on the opposite end of the spectrum as Barack Obama.

Good lord, they're promo-ing a Britney Spears song for the All-Star Events! C'mon TNT, just buy the rights to some songs from A Tribe Called Quest, Mos Def, De La Soul, etc. It would fit much better with 90s pseudo-indie conscious rap seeing as basketball fans are often into this type of music. Plus it's catchy and not something on the playlist of a 12-year-old girl.

Lisa Leslie has a terrible shot. There's this awkward hitch in the middle of the release.

"They gotta make it in." Wise words from Miller. As instructions for what you need to do to win this bizarre competition where an NBA player is teamed with a WNBA player and a former NBA star and they take a variety of shots. Whoever is in charge of All-Star weekend, and it's probably Stern, really thinks this lame shooting competition is fantastic. I guess it's the only time an NBA player sees a WNBA player during the calendar year.

Michael Cooper and Bill Laimbeer have both hit half-court shots. That's the reason why this competition doesn't involve skill. Laimbeer has the body of an elderly poker player.

Barbosa has no mid-range game.

It's so forced when the NBA player, retired guy, and WNBA player fake cheer with one another after they make the hall-courter. As if they're old buddies from the schoolyard. Except David Robinson's still nearly two feet taller than whoever the WNBA player is. Tim Duncan could be baked right now (highly unlikely) and it wouldn't matter what happens in the competition.

Rip Hamilton is by far the worst player endorsed by Jordan Brand. This difference between him, at this point, and Joe Johnson , is a wide chasm of talent. But hey, it's gotta be nice for his ego.

Gotta love the ball boy who nearly jumped in the way of bounce pass from Mo Williams. That was the difference between Williams going ahead of Harris for the final round.

The end of the NBA Cares spiel was almost cut-off by Kevin Harlin lauching into a "The Three-Point competition continues after this commercial break!"

Reggie Miller's "Homer" Count: 5.

Chris Tucker has apparently gained 100 pounds.

Adonal Foyle was given a seat behind Kapono in the stands. Ah, the perks of being Adonal Foyle.

A message to Dwayne Wade: You don't need to rock the Nelly-style band-aid under your eye. Plus the band-aid matches your sweater. Who the hell is your stylist? My guess is a girlfriend. Nobody else could possibly convince him (well, probably an agent).

Dwayne Wade and Lebron James might have a competition between them to see who can wear the weirdest clothing.

Dwight Howard is quite a bizarre guy.

I hope Rudy doesn't embarrass all the white people in the building.

Howard's theatrics are way too planned-out, however spectacular the dunk is. Having Stern on the phone, getting into the phone booth - this is all too prop comedy for me.

Nate is about six inches shorter than Cheryl Miller. Miller is 6-foot-2 , thus making Robinson 5-foot-8.

No comments: